[ to be honest, he should herd Sizhui to the guest room opposite his own, for propriety's sake. servants and disciples have probably seen the other enter his quarters but not leaving yet, but Jin Ling doesn't really want to move, and... he'd like Sizhui to stay around a little bit longer. surely he can help him to the guest room later when he's about to fall asleep. right?
he doesn't want to think too hard on the fact that he wants to stay just like this, beside Sizhui, feeling the slight heat coming off the other from the close proximity and he suppresses another shiver. Jin Ling, what's wrong with you today? his heart is still beating a mile a minute and he's got no way to calm it down.
he's never really had a way to deal with his bouts of anxiety before he met his current group of friends. Jiujiu is a mass of vibrating anxiety and anger and is no real help there, and his other uncle... he was never really there in that capacity. he breathes out and just shakes his head silently when he's straying too far into that topic in his head. it's too much still to think about, even if it's been a few years now.
it's with a start he realizes that Sizhu's kept talking even as Jin Ling's gotten lost in his own head on five different topics and he takes a short breath, barely registers "qi" and "disturbed" and groans silently. yeah, he knows. ]
Of course I can feel it. I'm just tired, I think. Thinking.
[ can you qi deviate from overblown anxiety? he doesn't know and he'd not want to find out, really. he's heard stories and it's not pretty. it's anxiety, for sure. the way he feels lightheaded and poised for flight, but there's something else mingled into it that's nervous anticipation and it makes for a strange combination. and his head still hurts. he doesn't move, doesn't open his eyes, but frowns a little as the pain settles somewhere between his eyes. goddamnit, this is no time for you to be dramatic, Jin Ling. you have a guest, who for all intents and purposes is tired and needs rest. he immediately abolishes all thoughts of going crazy from his own panic from his mind and finally forces his body to shift and glances over at Sizhui. ]
no subject
he doesn't want to think too hard on the fact that he wants to stay just like this, beside Sizhui, feeling the slight heat coming off the other from the close proximity and he suppresses another shiver. Jin Ling, what's wrong with you today? his heart is still beating a mile a minute and he's got no way to calm it down.
he's never really had a way to deal with his bouts of anxiety before he met his current group of friends. Jiujiu is a mass of vibrating anxiety and anger and is no real help there, and his other uncle... he was never really there in that capacity. he breathes out and just shakes his head silently when he's straying too far into that topic in his head. it's too much still to think about, even if it's been a few years now.
it's with a start he realizes that Sizhu's kept talking even as Jin Ling's gotten lost in his own head on five different topics and he takes a short breath, barely registers "qi" and "disturbed" and groans silently. yeah, he knows. ]
Of course I can feel it. I'm just tired, I think. Thinking.
[ can you qi deviate from overblown anxiety? he doesn't know and he'd not want to find out, really. he's heard stories and it's not pretty. it's anxiety, for sure. the way he feels lightheaded and poised for flight, but there's something else mingled into it that's nervous anticipation and it makes for a strange combination. and his head still hurts. he doesn't move, doesn't open his eyes, but frowns a little as the pain settles somewhere between his eyes. goddamnit, this is no time for you to be dramatic, Jin Ling. you have a guest, who for all intents and purposes is tired and needs rest. he immediately abolishes all thoughts of going crazy from his own panic from his mind and finally forces his body to shift and glances over at Sizhui. ]
Nevermind me, you should sleep.