[nobody can stop gossip, not even a sect leader, but it's a nice thought. one that wouldn't even initially cross sizhui's mind because yes, they're friends, it shouldn't be odd to see them together or to catch the lan disciple leaving jin ling's room— but when it's almost certainly nearing bedtime? well... that's a bit more questionable. his friend already has enough problems, so why is he giving reason to cause further complications?
(for a reason he's not ready to admit yet, although the longer they lay, the more he considers.)
sizhui is doing everything within his power to ignore the fact his own heartbeat is jackhammering uncontrollably; if he brings attention to it, that only makes the problem worse, so focusing on steadying the in and out of his breathing proves more difficult than he'd planned, but it's good in the sense he's still effectively distracted with making it seem like he is calmer than he'd admit. while it hasn't ever been said aloud (not with proper words), he cherishes jin ling's friendship and if he didn't, would he let his friend's harsh words roll off his back like water? or know all too well that jin ling wouldn't know what to do with actual affection if it slapped him in the face? which isn't an insult or anything, sizhui's just aware both jiang cheng and jin guangyao weren't (and aren't) the most affectionate sort of guardians.
oh, if only both of them knew the actuality of the situation. it'd be so much easier to learn jin ling shares the same feelings as he does since then it would end up being a simpler hey, i like you like that! rather than... whatever it is they seem to be doing right now. dancing around the subject has never been his strong suit but for jin ling's sake, maybe it's better he isn't springing this on him while he's least expecting.
“what? why?” he doesn't answer either question, just gently takes jin ling's hand into his own, guides it over and flattens both their hands across the spot below his chest.] Do you feel it? [is the soft query as he inhales through his nose, lets his belly fill with air, holds a few seconds then exhales in the same manner, slow and measured.]
Close your eyes, focus on the way our hands go up and down. Put your other hand on your own abdomen and feel the way it moves. And then do it again.
no subject
(for a reason he's not ready to admit yet, although the longer they lay, the more he considers.)
sizhui is doing everything within his power to ignore the fact his own heartbeat is jackhammering uncontrollably; if he brings attention to it, that only makes the problem worse, so focusing on steadying the in and out of his breathing proves more difficult than he'd planned, but it's good in the sense he's still effectively distracted with making it seem like he is calmer than he'd admit. while it hasn't ever been said aloud (not with proper words), he cherishes jin ling's friendship and if he didn't, would he let his friend's harsh words roll off his back like water? or know all too well that jin ling wouldn't know what to do with actual affection if it slapped him in the face? which isn't an insult or anything, sizhui's just aware both jiang cheng and jin guangyao weren't (and aren't) the most affectionate sort of guardians.
oh, if only both of them knew the actuality of the situation. it'd be so much easier to learn jin ling shares the same feelings as he does since then it would end up being a simpler hey, i like you like that! rather than... whatever it is they seem to be doing right now. dancing around the subject has never been his strong suit but for jin ling's sake, maybe it's better he isn't springing this on him while he's least expecting.
“what? why?” he doesn't answer either question, just gently takes jin ling's hand into his own, guides it over and flattens both their hands across the spot below his chest.] Do you feel it? [is the soft query as he inhales through his nose, lets his belly fill with air, holds a few seconds then exhales in the same manner, slow and measured.]
Close your eyes, focus on the way our hands go up and down. Put your other hand on your own abdomen and feel the way it moves. And then do it again.