[ Jiang Cheng is still preparing himself for marriage, to find a proper wife, to have heirs, to keep the future of his clan going. With no sister and no brother to have more nieces and nephews to lend to Yunmeng Jiang... The weight is all upon his own shoulders.
His hands are careful as he reaches for Sizhui, trying to take care of him without completely suffocating himself in the process. It's not a difficult thing to do, keeping his eyes down, not breathing in too much, not letting himself lose himself completely, because he doesn't have a choice. He is in a position of power, as a Sect Leader, as someone with a strong, well cultivated core, and to force his advances on someone...
That's something he cannot do. He has no intention of being another Jin.
A little bit of energy is all he needs to offer, all he needs to give, and then his hand can fall away. That's all he has to do, but it seems impossible for him - he wants to take care of him, he wants to make sure he's alright, he wants to do everything in his power to make Sizhui be alright. His knees are a little sore, some of his aches are stronger than others, and he hesitates for a moment before he reaches up to touch his neck.
He can feel the petals. He can feel the thorns. He can feel all of it, pressuring, pushing, making him feel sick and he turns his head away, lifting a hand to cover his mouth, his lips, to smother the blood before he can do anything to embarrass himself. He is in worse shape than the disciple now, surely, feeling weakened and bloody and broken, taken down and left bare and pained because of his own stupid emotions.
Leaning back, he hesitates, coughing out a handful of flowers and trying to throw them behind himself before they can be picked out, before they can be seen. ]
That is unnecessary. Aren't you supposed to do as you're told in Gusu?
no subject
His hands are careful as he reaches for Sizhui, trying to take care of him without completely suffocating himself in the process. It's not a difficult thing to do, keeping his eyes down, not breathing in too much, not letting himself lose himself completely, because he doesn't have a choice. He is in a position of power, as a Sect Leader, as someone with a strong, well cultivated core, and to force his advances on someone...
That's something he cannot do. He has no intention of being another Jin.
A little bit of energy is all he needs to offer, all he needs to give, and then his hand can fall away. That's all he has to do, but it seems impossible for him - he wants to take care of him, he wants to make sure he's alright, he wants to do everything in his power to make Sizhui be alright. His knees are a little sore, some of his aches are stronger than others, and he hesitates for a moment before he reaches up to touch his neck.
He can feel the petals. He can feel the thorns. He can feel all of it, pressuring, pushing, making him feel sick and he turns his head away, lifting a hand to cover his mouth, his lips, to smother the blood before he can do anything to embarrass himself. He is in worse shape than the disciple now, surely, feeling weakened and bloody and broken, taken down and left bare and pained because of his own stupid emotions.
Leaning back, he hesitates, coughing out a handful of flowers and trying to throw them behind himself before they can be picked out, before they can be seen. ]
That is unnecessary. Aren't you supposed to do as you're told in Gusu?