[admittedly, lan sizhui has greatly enjoyed watching his friend flourish in his sect leader position. not once has he ever judged jin ling needing help from his uncle sometimes either, especially when he gained such an important role while still being so young. (unfortunate circumstances aside and all, of course.)
jin ling had grown into his new status, handled it quite well when he'd found his footing, which had also helped the other junior come into himself a little better at the time, too.
and that in-kind helped them both decide the best-laid plan: getting their uncles together before it was deemed they were both a complete loss— well, okay, that's putting it somewhat dramatically... but still! it's true, lan xichen's almost everything jiang cheng wants in a partner; beautiful, graceful and obedient, hard-working, hailing from a respected family, personality not overwhelming, not too talkative and – last, though certainly not least! – must treat jin ling nice. zewu-jun, from what sizhui's witnessed throughout the years, has been nothing but courteous (and even outrightly kind) toward the other junior.
gosh, both of them were even thrust into similar situations with taking care of children unexpectedly? interesting indeed!
perhaps, that's why it shouldn't be surprising lan xichen and jiang cheng were able to turn the tables on them so easy; practically like the circumstances were meant for it. lan sizhui certainly isn't complaining since this new state of affairs has finally brought about confessions and while many wouldn't consider it something huge in their own minds, for himself and jin ling, it's astounding. the tips of his own ears pinken at times too, although having loosened his hair from the usual topknot helps hide them somewhat better.
it's an excellent advantage he's grateful for at the moment! but also: blushing's not his concern after what he'd witnessed only half an hour ago.] Like this! [sizhui pipes, leaning halfway over the table meanwhile, taking all of his loosened hair and holding it in a high ponytail.]
I have never seen him wear such a style. [he lets his hair fall around his shoulders, leans back so he's sitting properly again then folds both hands across his lap.] Have you?
[jin ling is about to open his mouth when sizhui does the worst thing possible in this situation and shows him the hairstyle.
he doesn't actually think for a moment, turns bright red and then hides his face in his forearms on the table. he's not going to survive if he does it again, ever. if he plays his cards right, he thinks he can actually save some sort of face and ask sizhui to spare him.
or do it again.
he's not sure.
how do people deal with this?
he shakes his head, still with his forehead pressed into his forearms before looking up. they'd been thoroughly played, he realizes now, but he still doesn't get how and when. which, again, is not the biggest thing here.] I haven't because normally-- Wait. He told me it's a Jiang tradition to change your hairstyle after you--- [Which. Wait. WAIT.] Sizhui---- What if they're already married!? [jin ling's voice has deepened in the last few years but it regains a squeak as he voices this latest possibility, as he looks at his -- he's not sure what and not thinking about it now to save brain power!!! -- across the table.]
[recieving such a reaction toward something he figured was simple enough makes sizhui's eyes widen and his mouth momentarily fall open with surprise. since he's already gaping, it does occur to ask jin ling if he's alright rather than reaching toward him, coming up short and letting the hand lower onto the table instead, but he doesn't really consider until it's too late.
which is fine because jin ling's head is down, so sizhui can withdraw before he decides to straighten and catches his awkward gesture.
however, considering how red the other male's face had turned, you can bet he's filing that away for later when they aren't distracted by the fact they're both figuring out their uncles might already be married. with the hand drawn back, he laces his fingers together again, biting his cheek in an attempt at hiding how his lips are twitching upward on the left side. he can't help it, jin ling's reaction was way too cute to not notice!
as things start being put together aloud, his expression becomes more and more creased, thoughtfulness knitting his brow and wrinkling his nose.] Already married... hmmm. [if that is the truth, how? how were they able to keep it under wraps and how long has it been? he's preparing to ask, but hesitates at jin ling's voice raising an octave, the same hand that'd lifted earlier coming back up to clap over his mouth and muffle a giggle; it's a wholehearted, unabashed noise, though something he smothers nevertheless before answering.] Should that be the case, then I must admit, we have egg on our faces.
Surely they were meeting in private. [perhaps stating the obvious? oh, but—] Unless it happened during the times Zewu-jun would leave seclusion for particular meetings where he needed to be present?
[there are a couple of things that run through jin ling's mind in the following moments.
first, that now that he knows that sizhui likes him --- likes him like that -- there's something different about the way he laughs. it's not actually different but the sound does something to him; makes something in his stomach flutter and twist in a way that's not unpleasant at all but totally inappropriate for the moment.
not that he can help himself.
second, if he really thinks about it they definitely have been fooled. because sizhui doesn't have counter-veiling evidence that their uncles aren't married. ] But how?!
[which--- wait. oh.
oh.
jin ling lets out a sigh and then groans, dropping his head back down to his forearms before looking up.] I did see Zewu-jun in Lotus Pier the last time I visited, he looked kinda lost in the guest quarters and did know where jiu-jiu kept his favorite tea set in his rooms... [which--- ew. how shameless. or something. if he and sizhui did that, he's sure jiu-jiu would threaten to break everyone's legs.] But why wouldn't they just tell us? [because it's been almost a year and honestly, if they've been married this whole time then it was so much work to keep this going.] It had to have been jiu-jiu's idea not to tell us, right? Zewu-jun wouldn't tricky us like this, right??? [the squeak is back.]
[oh goodness, just wait for the moment when sizhui makes an actual, full-bellied laugh where it sounds far less cute compared to the soft little snicker he's making now. but it's endearing in its own way, to be fair! and while he'd initially be embarrassed about how it sounds, the fact jin ling likes it would make him feel far less self-conscious, and he'd appreciate that a lot. (something he will learn later, for sure—)
as it stands right now, he has let himself focus on lan xichen and jiang cheng again, one hand having lifted to rest his fingertips against his lips during the momentary consideration.
nonetheless, sizhui's shoulders give the faintest shrug as he admits,] I don't know. [because he really, truly doesn't... yet he has some ideas. something he'll mention as soon as he's done letting his mouth hang open in astonishment at this new revelation. did he now? well, gosh, that about settles it, right?
zewu-jun knowing where his favorite tea is inside sect leader jiang's rooms pretty much speaks volumes where words aren't even needed.] Perhaps they didn't want to make it into a big deal until they were ready? [though it's true, if it has been practically a whole year, why continue with the charade? and especially whenever it came to family!] Well, actually... [he trails off, letting the apprehension build, reaching with the same hand he'd raised earlier and clutching whichever of jin ling's hands is closest.] I do hate to be the one to tell you, but there's a very likely chance he did suggest they keep it a secret? For good reason, I'm sure, though.
that makes sense but jin ling is not about to let the newly discovered dead horse lie here. it's a marriage. it's definitely a marriage.
he doesn't respond to the first sentiment other than letting out a huff that resembles his uncle far too much. but then he's distracted again -- focus, jin ling, focus??? -- by sizhui's hand. there's a part of him that's still flustered by the whole thing but another, tactile part (he's sometimes not sure where he picked it up), that reaches out to him and turn his hand palm up to interlace their fingers.
because that's -- well that's nice and they can do that now.
it does soften the blow that comes next. he sits up, not letting go of sizhui's hand through all of it.] What?! But-- But that's lying? And it's Zewu-jun? And what reason do they have to keep us thinking we were going to set them up for a year when they could have just both told us they weren't interested?
[if he weren't so endeared by jin ling's insistence, he might be flustered too; people have always thought lan xichen didn't do normal, human things when he's really quite capable of them. which isn't meant in a bad way, not at all, sizhui just doesn't understand how people can revere someone so much, they'll believe they can do no wrong.
let's nevermind how he and lan jingyi were both hanguang-jun's biggest hypemen for a while— they have both grown past their idolization phase, thank goodness.
unwavering determination alongside his boyfriend's huffing only makes him smile, his fingers squeezing momentarily in a gesture of reassurance then loosening again. but when jin ling's hand turns, their palms touch and he interlocks their fingers, that's what makes sizhui's eyes widen, his mouth falling open in the softest, surprised ‘ah!’ he grips those digits with his own, firm yet gentle, beaming outright at their entwined hands. even just hand-holding feels so wonderful, it makes him contemplate what else might feel this nice now that they're allowed.
he softens afterward, dreamy-eyed, cheeks blooming with color while he strokes his thumb over jin ling's hand. though it hesitates as he sits up, sizhui's eyebrows consideringly arch then his head tilts.] Is omitting some details truly lying? [what people don't know won't hurt them, after all.] Because, nearer the end, I don't think it was about us setting them up.
Did you ever think we might have gotten played at our own game?
[while he did initiate the contact and help sizhui's hand, jin ling is not prepared for the consequences of his actions. of sizhui holding his hand.
they are holding hands.
holy shit.
sizhui is running his thumb over his skin and those are thoughts for not right now! focus, focus! there are uncles to be upset at here.] Omitting the details is important when it's their marriage. [like what does he call zewu-jun now?
no one dare point out that this would have been a problem if they'd set their uncles up either way. shhhh.] They could have just said something!
And--- [he's about to go off, to explain something or comment on something else when he stops and deflates. His shoulders slump and Jin Ling, who has been a sect leader for years and is now perhaps nearly the size of Hanguang-jun and should not be pouting like a child... well, he might be pouting.] They totally played us.
Sizhui they're married. [which means that they probably eloped, he thinks. there certainly was no wedding.] Nobody can ever give us grief about a wedding. [he huffs and then, a beat later, realizes what he's just said.] I mean---
[not only are they holding hands and yes, sizhui's also initiating more intent affection by tracing his thumb over jin ling's first knuckle now, but his other hand has lifted too, reached out and gently settled across his companion's forearm where he squeezes for reassurance.
truly, it has become an oh no, the consequences of my actions! moment and something he hopes offers actual assurance in this moment of realization.]
That's fair and valid, [sizhui admits, despite sounding like there's a ‘but’ coming that never does. if wanting to know what he should call zewu-jun now is something legitimate, he'll have no trouble explaining the intricacies, all the while realizing he's glad it doesn't interfere with what's going on between them.
and although sizhui knows he shouldn't encourage a sect leader pouting, it's hard not to be amused by the gesture, to fight his lips quirking with mirth no matter how hard he bites his tongue. so, rather than do so, he lets his mouth curve, releases jin ling's arm then reaches to cup his cheek, thumb brushing against the apple of it, his fingertips barely hooking just behind his ear and pressing near his neck.] You're right, they could have, but then what privacy would be left? Everyone would crowd them for congratulations and to give gifts and— [well, it sounds like the direct opposite of keeping things on the down-low.]
Mmhmm. [a hushed agreement through his momentary distracted state of holding jin ling's face, attention quickly redirecting from his lips to his eyes once the other male mentions their possible wedding.] Ah... [and sizhui's cheeks darken further, his head briefly inclines, except there isn't any arguing or denying what's been said.] Not yet, [comes in an equally quiet murmur.] But give it time, I am sure someone will find something to criticize.
Which they will eventually any--- anyway. [a whole plethora of different things is happening all at once and jin ling isn't sure where to go with it. sure, he's not the same hot-headed teenager with no friends that spent the months following his da-jiu's resurrection with sizhui.
but this is still jin ling.
he knows he's more his jiu-jiu than anyone, even if it is very mature of him to now think of wei wuxian as his da-jiu. he thinks. right?
he's still blushing and hoping that if he just tries to get his face to do something respectable, sizhui won't feel it under his palm. also, how is it possible that the other's hands are still calloused but soft? that's not fair. really. who allowed that?
jin ling is going to explode or die. maybe both. not in a good way.] Right. Not right now... [he finds his voice, still kinda focused on sizhui's hand on his face. it's so intimate, so close. even if it's totally within their write to be way more intimate than this.] They better not criticize. [and then there's his normal steady tone, a bit of his uncle's threatening edge to it. No one better have anything to say about this, not when the thought of marrying sizhui makes jin ling so happy in a way that twists him in inside.]
Exactly, so maybe it's okay that we let them have whatever time they can get? [and they distract themselves with what free time it allows for moments like these instead. sizhui's heartbeat is jackhammering, he can feel it, and not only that but there's also an intensely warm sensation creeping along down his neck now, a silent reminder his own skin hasn't lessened in color any.
while he's desperately trying to ignore this, he can't help imagining he looks ridiculous, which causes his lips to mirthfully quirk at the edges. here's hoping jin ling doesn't mistake it for him being amused by how he looks, though! he's laughing at himself, not at him, et cetera and so on.
much to jin ling's misfortune, sizhui does feel the warmth, something that makes him smile wider and with a bit more genuineness, even if he draws no specific attention toward the other's blush. (also, his trick is to use whatever tools at his disposal that can soften his hands and keep them that way despite consistent, prolonged swordplay.) poor, poor jin rulan, his life is about to become a hundred times harder because if he thinks just having a hand on his face is a lot, he's certainly not prepared for what's coming next:] We'll give them nothing to criticize, [he assures, and where there's more obvious threat in jin ling's voice, there is an almost unnerving steady coolness to sizhui's words too; reassuring, nevertheless, but promisingly intimidating.
he softens as his hand drifts, fingertips brushing the corner of his boyfriend's mouth then settling near his chin.] Jin Ling, [it's already breathy, yet somehow, sizhui's voice becomes barely a whisper when he blurts out,] I would like to kiss you now.
What? [everything that sizhui says before he runs his fingertips over jin ling's skin is really lost to him.
whatever part of his mind that's responsible for coherent thought chucks itself off the nearest mental cliff, leaving him a bit lost. he knows what the words mean, he does. he wants what those words mean since they haven't really gotten the chance to do anything beyond the most innocent caresses of hands and-- well, jin ling is human.
he's a young, hot blooded man with a very attractive boyfriend. who he is courting and does want to formally court, the proper way.
which is tricky cause they shouldn't be doing this if that's the case.] I mean-- Yes. Yes, do that. Do that now.
[clearly, that's a redundant question, isn't it? (...isn't it?) at least he's hoping so because if he truly has to repeat himself after it already took this much courage to admit the first time, lan sizhui might expire.
they needn't do anything else besides kissing anyhow, since that should for sure be safe enough, given how careful they've been this whole time. he would like to assume, though he's never courted nor been courted before; everything's new, foreign and there are so many things he could do to mess up— it's something that's kept him awake many nights and now, in the moment, he hopes whatever they decide, it'll work out. (also, no couple is ever the exact same, it's up to them what's comfortable and what isn't.)
‘yes,’ jin ling says, disrupting his preoccupied state, leaving him gawking.] Ah... [sizhui's mouth slowly closes, he bites his cheek, then his eyes become half-lidded and following jin ling's ‘do that now,’ he closes what little distance remains between them to press their lips together.]
[kiss is-- well, jin ling actually isn't sure what he expected of kissing. he doesn't really have practice in it and it's not like he could talk to his uncle about these matters.
he'd been too young, to nervous to ask his xiao-- to ask jin guangyao when he'd been alive and who would have told him.
he's not about ask his dai-jiu, now. first of all, because he's pretty sure he'd give awful advice and going to your uncle to ask him about kissing his---no, nope. jin ling doesn't finish that train of thought and focuses on the now, on the feel of sizhui's lips against his own.
he likes this, they way they're a little dry and taste like something he can't place but is distinctly sizhui. jin ling lifts his hand from where it's been awkwardly laying on the table, finds himself cupping the side of sizhui's neck. there's still so much distance between them and that-- well, that's not right.] You're so far away. [he says over the table, spoken against sizhui's lips. there's a hint of petulance there that is a faint reminder of the 'young madam' he once was.]
[whatever he might've anticipated (which isn't much, given his own lack of experience), it wasn't anything like this and it's absolutely nothing like the sloppy drunken cheek-kiss lan jingyi had planted on him one night.
no, this is warm and inviting and all jin ling, made even more welcoming by the faint hint of honey-sweetened tea lingering on sizhui's lips.
and as tempted as he is to poke his tongue out, lick over the line of jin ling's lips, he hesitates for now because this already feels like a lot despite it only being a rather simple liplock. besides, he's somewhat struggling with where to put and keep his hands, something he's hoping isn't too noticeable while they're kissing. these poor boys, their lack of advice will inevitably come back to bite them, but that's the furthest thing from his thoughts. what has lan sizhui pausing and earning jin ling a breathy gasp is when that hand finds his neck, goosebumps prickling his skin once those words come, a little sulky, though not failing to pique his interest.]
So it would seem, [he murmurs, super-duper tempted to tease jin ling further even if his next shift will be more than playful. lowering both hands, they splay on the table between them, holding him steady as he straightens, carefully guides himself onto then effectively over it so he can straddle jin ling's waist instead and hook his arms around his shoulders after he's settled.] How is this? Better, you think? [asked innocently enough with an actual inquiring head-tilt, but alongside his small half-smirk, it isn't looking too sincere.]
jin ling isn't so sure how sizhui is so proper about this. how he's so collected as he says 'so it would seem.' as if they aren't talking about how far he is when they're kissing.
as he he hadn't just climbed over the table.
a part of jin ling that's holding on to reason here cackles and implodes. it's not the part that's in charge, luckily, because that would be the most awful thing and ruin the mood. the mood of lan sizhui in his lap. right there, where jin ling can place his hands on his hips and confirm that he is in fact in his lap.] Yes. [which, okay, thank every immortal and Heavenly being that jin ling's voice does not crack.]
Much better, closer for sure. [closer, really there. jin ling has a sense of entitlement and bravado about a lot of things, and whole this isn't one of them he feels somehow more comfortable with sizhui here and this close.] Now this is better for proper kissing.
[the beat of silence after he's moved into jin ling's lap speaks volumes where words do not; sizhui almost second-guesses himself, but only hesitates because the other male's hands settle on his hips and whatever nervousness he'd been feeling before disappears with that simple gesture.
to tell the truth, he's sort of faking it until he makes it here. his heartbeat has been jackhammering nonstop ever since he'd considered doing what he did and now that he has, he is sincerely hoping jin ling can't hear it being as close as they are, even though he's rather certain that isn't a possibility. nevertheless, his attention darts from his boyfriend's eyes to his lips, to his throat, then he glances down between them, licking his lips in an attempt to focus on anything that's not how nice it feels sitting in jin ling's lap right now. (and while being held onto? surely it doesn't get much better—)
except when jin ling confirms that yes, this position is more proper, a fond, warm feeling comes rushing through him, flooding his cheeks with color now too whereas it'd simply been his ears moments ago.] For sure, [he parrots softly, grinning, tilting his gaze back upward until they're eye-to-eye again (which is also different with how easy it is, given he ordinarily has to look up higher). although he'd like to tease jin ling, ask him ‘well, are you gonna kiss me or not?’ he decides on something else.
something he's thinking will be a simple motion at first, then reconsiders from jin ling's point of view, yet it's not enough to make him drop the idea entirely.] Is kissing considered ‘proper?’ [a quiet, contemplative hum and afterward, he tilts, brushes their noses together, lips barely parted and his left hand moving around so he can drift his fingertips over jin ling's throat.] I'm not so sure in this situation...
it would be a great way to go, jin ling thinks, but then he won't have experienced all the things in life that he's supposed to.
like what happens after this.
all the dirty books zizhen has shared make it seems like that's worth sticking around for. jin ling tries not to let his mind race ahead to sex with sizhui when all they've done is hold hands and now he has him in his lap. he needs to survive and kiss him a bit more before he gets too wound up.
sizhui is definitely not helping.] What--? [you can't expect him to form a coherent thought like this, sizhui.
he blinks and then his mind seems to catch up with what's happening here, even as he shudders at the touch on his neck. that's sensitive, apparently. who knew?] It doesn't matter if it's proper, if we like it. [he says, narrowing his eyes a bit because who is jin rulan if he's not one to fall for being goaded even by his boyfriend? there's a set of determination in his jaw as he leans in, but the kiss -- for what is is -- is still playful and gentle before it melts into something more.
his hands still are firm as one rests on sizhui's hip, the other slides down his outer thigh to pull him closer yet. ]
[honestly, given how sizhui's being an absolute awful tease at the moment, it wouldn't surprise him if jin ling did expire on the spot; his own face isn't getting any less red though so perhaps he could be right there with him.
because the soft little huffs he's exhaling sound far more labored and they've only just kissed.
also, let's be honest, there's a whole bunch of other things they can experience once they get past that; selfishly, sizhui would prefer if they both make it past this moment, which is exactly why he's letting himself remain bold and uninhibited (or as much as he can possibly manage, anyhow). quiet, tainted with the scent of honey-sweetened tea, he sighs another breath between them, readying an answer to jin ling's earlier ‘what?’ yet hesitates once he sees recognition flitter across his boyfriend's expression, even as he trembles underneath sizhui's touch on his throat. ah, yes, he will certainly be filing that away for later . . .
he nods faintly,] You're right, it's no one else's business what we do together. [then comes a grin toward jin ling's determined look, lasting for some odd seconds before their lips meet again in another kiss. he hums, warm and satisfied, sliding his hand from jin ling's throat to his nape, fingers cupping to steadily hold him in place while he licks over the other man's mouth.
and when one hand lowers to his thigh, he lets himself be tugged, shifting on his knees, slotting their bodies together so more of his weight rests on jin ling's lap instead. sizhui then hooks his other arm around jin ling's waist, reaches up over his back and cinches his fingers in the fabric of his robes just below his shoulder.]
Yeah, I am. [smug, yes, but still he sounds a bit dumb and breathless even in his determination. the older man, and they are no longer boys following their uncles and fathers around, has found a new way to leave jin ling lightheaded and captivated.
it isn't fair, really.
he has no ammunition of his own, no way to retaliate. the reality though, is there is nothing to retaliate against and jin ling is happy to follow the lead if it takes him to another kiss. another touch. he parts his lips, meets sizhui's tongue with his own.
in theory, this should be strange but it's far from it. jin ling doesn't really know what he's doing, if he's good at this but he's not about to stop and ask. not now. not when then he'd die of embarrassment and hurl himself out of the resurrection cycle, thank you very much.
it's a wonder that he can have all of these thoughts, really, as his mind also simultaneously short circuits as sizhui moves wholly into his lap. and that, that heat pooling low in his stomach as their bodies meet is unlike anything he's felt. unlike anything he's fantasized about. it's instinctual to groan into sizhui's mouth, to pull him closer as his hips rock up and-- and then he freezes, realizes that this is a line they haven't crossed yet.
[were it still possible, he would've smirked at such a self-satisfied answer, but given his mouth is somewhat busy currently, sizhui's eyes crinkling softly at the corners will have to do for now. not to mention, he isn't inclined to break away from jin ling anytime soon now that they're kissing more proper-like.
here, while the two of them are busying themselves with each other, there shouldn't be any reason for jin ling to retaliate against something that doesn't need it; accepting what's happening and going with the flow is completely alright too.
that's what lan sizhui is doing alongside following instinct, which tells him to absolutely not worry about who might stumble across them and focus entirely on jin ling's tongue meeting his own. he snaps his eyes open all of a sudden despite knowing it could seem outright rude to do so, but then wastes no time opening his mouth somewhat further, exhaling a slow, steady breath between them and letting his tongue-tip dart into jin ling's mouth, coaxing him to kiss him even deeper. an action he's thoroughly engrossed with, at least until jin ling groans, tugs sizhui closer and bucks up against him.
initially (instinctively), he gasps at the sensation, followed by a breathless half-moan that peters off once he realizes what's just happened—
then he withdraws, not too far but just enough to put the slightest amount of space, their foreheads mere inches apart, voice barely a whisper,] It— it's okay, we're getting a little worked up. [which is also fine, he's certainly not getting any less hard, after all! but.] I mean, I didn't mind it whatsoever? Just, ah, perhaps... we should talk about how far we are willing to go at the moment.
[the sound of sizhui gasping like that, of moaning like that is definitely something jin ling wants to hear again.
it feels like he's attained something impossible, something special and sacred and wholly theirs to share. which, okay, he does not have the lan self control to not roll his hips up again when he gains a reaction even if he'd been the one to freeze up at first.
which-- okay, betrayal by his own body? not fair.
the loss of contact nearly earns a whine but jin ling isn't the whining young mistress anymore, definitely not in this moment. his hands settle on sizhui's outer thighs, tangled in the fabric of the robes that cover his pants. it's a distraction for now, good enough to keep them busy as they breathe each other's air and try to calm down.] Just a little? [and there's that somewhat huffy tone, though it's followed with a laugh and jin ling's lucky his voice is deeper now that he's no longer navigating his early teenager years. the huff does come though, soft but there.] We should talk, yeah. We should--- if we were to do this the proper way, we shouldn't get this worked up. [Or be alone together. Or hold hands at this stage when courting gifts haven't been exchanged.
not that jin ling is moving away or letting sizhui move an inch if he tries.]
[being completely, one-hundred-percent honest, jin ling has earned something special; sizhui's never, ever made a sound like the moan he'd just let out mere moments ago and it makes sense, with them being a couple, they'd take pleasure in discovering new things about each other.
what's outright rude about their current position, however, is that jin ling bucks up against him again afterward, earning a soft yet still higher-pitched gasp of surprise.
seriously now? so much for his attempt at winding them down by pulling back, but let's be real here: sizhui can't get mad or stay bemused for long, given his earlier initiation, what with the whole climbing into jin ling's lap thing . . . deep breath in, hold, let it back out aaand alright, that's at least a little bit better. (because distracting himself by thinking how nice it'd be to push jin ling over and pin him down won't help them chill out any less, either—)
he quietly shushes following the pitiful complaint, both hands moving around, fingers interlocking across jin ling's nape once his boyfriend's hands rest along his thighs; a rather dangerous area, considering his sensitivity, but jin ling thankfully can't feel goosebumps above his clothes and sizhui's not focusing on where those hands are, just silently appreciating how nice the slight weight feels, how jin ling's holding him in place by gripping his flowy robes. his lips purse and he playfully narrows his eyes,] A little, [is emphasized though since sizhui isn't making any motion to remove himself from jin ling's lap, but hasn't let his hands start wandering again just yet. the faintest smile does quirk his lips at the edges toward jin ling's huff before he leads with,] How do you think we should proceed from here? [and then, for some reassurance, he caresses jin ling's neck, working over to where it curves into his shoulder.]
Would you rather we not be alone like this? In case we can't control ourselves... [spoken like it's actually something he's concerned about, and yet he's already struggling with keeping his hands motionless.]
[neither of them are really moving away and, honestly, things are straying forward in the direction they shouldn't be going.
or rather shouldn't if anyone were properly supervising them. there is a small part of jin ling that remembers who they'll have to face if they're caught but--- his uncle is less scary now that jin ling towers over him and if hanguang-jun tries to kill him what a memory to have as he goes.
the hindbrain chasing 'this feels good with the boy i like' wins out over reason. it might have something to do with the way sizhui is touching his neck, which is something new jin ling learns about himself as the first firm touch earns a gasp and a shudder.
but! he focuses.] Only a little. [wait, wrong focus.] Um. [he shakes his head.] No, I definitely want to be alone like this. [which is a level of openness and vulnerability that used to only be accompanied by word vomit and maybe a few tears, years ago. look at that growth.
his words are honest this time and he's not stopping his hands as they slide up to sizhui's hips, holding him close.] We--- should let them know though. Our uncles and uh.. Hanguang-jun. But after we've spent a little time alone.
[see, proper supervision doesn't reside in lan jingyi; the moment he realized there was no ignoring how sizhui and jin ling made goo-goo eyes at each other between conversation, he figured he'd leave them to their own devices (and maybe – just maybe – this is exactly what he'd expected to happen).
if it's that, at least jingyi can say he never meant for them to get out of hand, alongside allowing his two friends whatever little privacy they can get while he's off collecting snacks.
later on down the line, sizhui's going to thank him a thousand times over, especially considering all these new things he's discovering about his boyfriend right now. the way he gasps and shivers after his neck is touched, how he oh-so-boldly decides they should accept what's given to them in alone time without any misstepping (which sizhui's proud of, by the way! he's doing great—) then those hands are moving over his hips, earning an almost breathless-sounding sigh, his own hand stilling momentarily on jin ling's shoulder.
that hand splays, palm flattened, fingers faintly dragging as he moves it downward and rests it against the other man's chest, just above where his heart beats.] Afterward, we will tell them, [he agrees.] Until that time comes... [then he's trailing off, letting himself shift closer, his head ducking into jin ling's neck where he ghosts his mouth across the pulsepoint.
sizhui's intentions are clear: make jin ling react further by teasing him, but both his hands move too, lowering to rest on jin ling's, encouraging more touching while he experimentally shifts his hips against him again.]
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houseofsushi2020-05-22 10:34 pm
this is the good stuff, jim
jin ling had grown into his new status, handled it quite well when he'd found his footing, which had also helped the other junior come into himself a little better at the time, too.
and that in-kind helped them both decide the best-laid plan: getting their uncles together before it was deemed they were both a complete loss— well, okay, that's putting it somewhat dramatically... but still! it's true, lan xichen's almost everything jiang cheng wants in a partner; beautiful, graceful and obedient, hard-working, hailing from a respected family, personality not overwhelming, not too talkative and – last, though certainly not least! – must treat jin ling nice. zewu-jun, from what sizhui's witnessed throughout the years, has been nothing but courteous (and even outrightly kind) toward the other junior.
gosh, both of them were even thrust into similar situations with taking care of children unexpectedly? interesting indeed!
perhaps, that's why it shouldn't be surprising lan xichen and jiang cheng were able to turn the tables on them so easy; practically like the circumstances were meant for it. lan sizhui certainly isn't complaining since this new state of affairs has finally brought about confessions and while many wouldn't consider it something huge in their own minds, for himself and jin ling, it's astounding. the tips of his own ears pinken at times too, although having loosened his hair from the usual topknot helps hide them somewhat better.
it's an excellent advantage he's grateful for at the moment! but also: blushing's not his concern after what he'd witnessed only half an hour ago.] Like this! [sizhui pipes, leaning halfway over the table meanwhile, taking all of his loosened hair and holding it in a high ponytail.]
I have never seen him wear such a style. [he lets his hair fall around his shoulders, leans back so he's sitting properly again then folds both hands across his lap.] Have you?
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he doesn't actually think for a moment, turns bright red and then hides his face in his forearms on the table. he's not going to survive if he does it again, ever. if he plays his cards right, he thinks he can actually save some sort of face and ask sizhui to spare him.
or do it again.
he's not sure.
how do people deal with this?
he shakes his head, still with his forehead pressed into his forearms before looking up. they'd been thoroughly played, he realizes now, but he still doesn't get how and when. which, again, is not the biggest thing here.] I haven't because normally-- Wait. He told me it's a Jiang tradition to change your hairstyle after you--- [Which. Wait. WAIT.] Sizhui---- What if they're already married!? [jin ling's voice has deepened in the last few years but it regains a squeak as he voices this latest possibility, as he looks at his -- he's not sure what and not thinking about it now to save brain power!!! -- across the table.]
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which is fine because jin ling's head is down, so sizhui can withdraw before he decides to straighten and catches his awkward gesture.
however, considering how red the other male's face had turned, you can bet he's filing that away for later when they aren't distracted by the fact they're both figuring out their uncles might already be married. with the hand drawn back, he laces his fingers together again, biting his cheek in an attempt at hiding how his lips are twitching upward on the left side. he can't help it, jin ling's reaction was way too cute to not notice!
as things start being put together aloud, his expression becomes more and more creased, thoughtfulness knitting his brow and wrinkling his nose.] Already married... hmmm. [if that is the truth, how? how were they able to keep it under wraps and how long has it been? he's preparing to ask, but hesitates at jin ling's voice raising an octave, the same hand that'd lifted earlier coming back up to clap over his mouth and muffle a giggle; it's a wholehearted, unabashed noise, though something he smothers nevertheless before answering.] Should that be the case, then I must admit, we have egg on our faces.
Surely they were meeting in private. [perhaps stating the obvious? oh, but—] Unless it happened during the times Zewu-jun would leave seclusion for particular meetings where he needed to be present?
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first, that now that he knows that sizhui likes him --- likes him like that -- there's something different about the way he laughs. it's not actually different but the sound does something to him; makes something in his stomach flutter and twist in a way that's not unpleasant at all but totally inappropriate for the moment.
not that he can help himself.
second, if he really thinks about it they definitely have been fooled. because sizhui doesn't have counter-veiling evidence that their uncles aren't married. ] But how?!
[which--- wait. oh.
oh.
jin ling lets out a sigh and then groans, dropping his head back down to his forearms before looking up.] I did see Zewu-jun in Lotus Pier the last time I visited, he looked kinda lost in the guest quarters and did know where jiu-jiu kept his favorite tea set in his rooms... [which--- ew. how shameless. or something. if he and sizhui did that, he's sure jiu-jiu would threaten to break everyone's legs.] But why wouldn't they just tell us? [because it's been almost a year and honestly, if they've been married this whole time then it was so much work to keep this going.] It had to have been jiu-jiu's idea not to tell us, right? Zewu-jun wouldn't tricky us like this, right??? [the squeak is back.]
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as it stands right now, he has let himself focus on lan xichen and jiang cheng again, one hand having lifted to rest his fingertips against his lips during the momentary consideration.
nonetheless, sizhui's shoulders give the faintest shrug as he admits,] I don't know. [because he really, truly doesn't... yet he has some ideas. something he'll mention as soon as he's done letting his mouth hang open in astonishment at this new revelation. did he now? well, gosh, that about settles it, right?
zewu-jun knowing where his favorite tea is inside sect leader jiang's rooms pretty much speaks volumes where words aren't even needed.] Perhaps they didn't want to make it into a big deal until they were ready? [though it's true, if it has been practically a whole year, why continue with the charade? and especially whenever it came to family!] Well, actually... [he trails off, letting the apprehension build, reaching with the same hand he'd raised earlier and clutching whichever of jin ling's hands is closest.] I do hate to be the one to tell you, but there's a very likely chance he did suggest they keep it a secret? For good reason, I'm sure, though.
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a good one.
that makes sense but jin ling is not about to let the newly discovered dead horse lie here. it's a marriage. it's definitely a marriage.
he doesn't respond to the first sentiment other than letting out a huff that resembles his uncle far too much. but then he's distracted again -- focus, jin ling, focus??? -- by sizhui's hand. there's a part of him that's still flustered by the whole thing but another, tactile part (he's sometimes not sure where he picked it up), that reaches out to him and turn his hand palm up to interlace their fingers.
because that's -- well that's nice and they can do that now.
it does soften the blow that comes next. he sits up, not letting go of sizhui's hand through all of it.] What?! But-- But that's lying? And it's Zewu-jun? And what reason do they have to keep us thinking we were going to set them up for a year when they could have just both told us they weren't interested?
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let's nevermind how he and lan jingyi were both hanguang-jun's biggest hypemen for a while— they have both grown past their idolization phase, thank goodness.
unwavering determination alongside his boyfriend's huffing only makes him smile, his fingers squeezing momentarily in a gesture of reassurance then loosening again. but when jin ling's hand turns, their palms touch and he interlocks their fingers, that's what makes sizhui's eyes widen, his mouth falling open in the softest, surprised ‘ah!’ he grips those digits with his own, firm yet gentle, beaming outright at their entwined hands. even just hand-holding feels so wonderful, it makes him contemplate what else might feel this nice now that they're allowed.
he softens afterward, dreamy-eyed, cheeks blooming with color while he strokes his thumb over jin ling's hand. though it hesitates as he sits up, sizhui's eyebrows consideringly arch then his head tilts.] Is omitting some details truly lying? [what people don't know won't hurt them, after all.] Because, nearer the end, I don't think it was about us setting them up.
Did you ever think we might have gotten played at our own game?
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they are holding hands.
holy shit.
sizhui is running his thumb over his skin and those are thoughts for not right now! focus, focus! there are uncles to be upset at here.] Omitting the details is important when it's their marriage. [like what does he call zewu-jun now?
no one dare point out that this would have been a problem if they'd set their uncles up either way. shhhh.] They could have just said something!
And--- [he's about to go off, to explain something or comment on something else when he stops and deflates. His shoulders slump and Jin Ling, who has been a sect leader for years and is now perhaps nearly the size of Hanguang-jun and should not be pouting like a child... well, he might be pouting.] They totally played us.
Sizhui they're married. [which means that they probably eloped, he thinks. there certainly was no wedding.] Nobody can ever give us grief about a wedding. [he huffs and then, a beat later, realizes what he's just said.] I mean---
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truly, it has become an oh no, the consequences of my actions! moment and something he hopes offers actual assurance in this moment of realization.]
That's fair and valid, [sizhui admits, despite sounding like there's a ‘but’ coming that never does. if wanting to know what he should call zewu-jun now is something legitimate, he'll have no trouble explaining the intricacies, all the while realizing he's glad it doesn't interfere with what's going on between them.
and although sizhui knows he shouldn't encourage a sect leader pouting, it's hard not to be amused by the gesture, to fight his lips quirking with mirth no matter how hard he bites his tongue. so, rather than do so, he lets his mouth curve, releases jin ling's arm then reaches to cup his cheek, thumb brushing against the apple of it, his fingertips barely hooking just behind his ear and pressing near his neck.] You're right, they could have, but then what privacy would be left? Everyone would crowd them for congratulations and to give gifts and— [well, it sounds like the direct opposite of keeping things on the down-low.]
Mmhmm. [a hushed agreement through his momentary distracted state of holding jin ling's face, attention quickly redirecting from his lips to his eyes once the other male mentions their possible wedding.] Ah... [and sizhui's cheeks darken further, his head briefly inclines, except there isn't any arguing or denying what's been said.] Not yet, [comes in an equally quiet murmur.] But give it time, I am sure someone will find something to criticize.
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but this is still jin ling.
he knows he's more his jiu-jiu than anyone, even if it is very mature of him to now think of wei wuxian as his da-jiu. he thinks. right?
he's still blushing and hoping that if he just tries to get his face to do something respectable, sizhui won't feel it under his palm. also, how is it possible that the other's hands are still calloused but soft? that's not fair. really. who allowed that?
jin ling is going to explode or die. maybe both. not in a good way.] Right. Not right now... [he finds his voice, still kinda focused on sizhui's hand on his face. it's so intimate, so close. even if it's totally within their write to be way more intimate than this.] They better not criticize. [and then there's his normal steady tone, a bit of his uncle's threatening edge to it. No one better have anything to say about this, not when the thought of marrying sizhui makes jin ling so happy in a way that twists him in inside.]
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while he's desperately trying to ignore this, he can't help imagining he looks ridiculous, which causes his lips to mirthfully quirk at the edges. here's hoping jin ling doesn't mistake it for him being amused by how he looks, though! he's laughing at himself, not at him, et cetera and so on.
much to jin ling's misfortune, sizhui does feel the warmth, something that makes him smile wider and with a bit more genuineness, even if he draws no specific attention toward the other's blush. (also, his trick is to use whatever tools at his disposal that can soften his hands and keep them that way despite consistent, prolonged swordplay.) poor, poor jin rulan, his life is about to become a hundred times harder because if he thinks just having a hand on his face is a lot, he's certainly not prepared for what's coming next:] We'll give them nothing to criticize, [he assures, and where there's more obvious threat in jin ling's voice, there is an almost unnerving steady coolness to sizhui's words too; reassuring, nevertheless, but promisingly intimidating.
he softens as his hand drifts, fingertips brushing the corner of his boyfriend's mouth then settling near his chin.] Jin Ling, [it's already breathy, yet somehow, sizhui's voice becomes barely a whisper when he blurts out,] I would like to kiss you now.
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whatever part of his mind that's responsible for coherent thought chucks itself off the nearest mental cliff, leaving him a bit lost. he knows what the words mean, he does. he wants what those words mean since they haven't really gotten the chance to do anything beyond the most innocent caresses of hands and-- well, jin ling is human.
he's a young, hot blooded man with a very attractive boyfriend. who he is courting and does want to formally court, the proper way.
which is tricky cause they shouldn't be doing this if that's the case.] I mean-- Yes. Yes, do that. Do that now.
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they needn't do anything else besides kissing anyhow, since that should for sure be safe enough, given how careful they've been this whole time. he would like to assume, though he's never courted nor been courted before; everything's new, foreign and there are so many things he could do to mess up— it's something that's kept him awake many nights and now, in the moment, he hopes whatever they decide, it'll work out. (also, no couple is ever the exact same, it's up to them what's comfortable and what isn't.)
‘yes,’ jin ling says, disrupting his preoccupied state, leaving him gawking.] Ah... [sizhui's mouth slowly closes, he bites his cheek, then his eyes become half-lidded and following jin ling's ‘do that now,’ he closes what little distance remains between them to press their lips together.]
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he'd been too young, to nervous to ask his xiao-- to ask jin guangyao when he'd been alive and who would have told him.
he's not about ask his dai-jiu, now. first of all, because he's pretty sure he'd give awful advice and going to your uncle to ask him about kissing his---no, nope. jin ling doesn't finish that train of thought and focuses on the now, on the feel of sizhui's lips against his own.
he likes this, they way they're a little dry and taste like something he can't place but is distinctly sizhui. jin ling lifts his hand from where it's been awkwardly laying on the table, finds himself cupping the side of sizhui's neck. there's still so much distance between them and that-- well, that's not right.] You're so far away. [he says over the table, spoken against sizhui's lips. there's a hint of petulance there that is a faint reminder of the 'young madam' he once was.]
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no, this is warm and inviting and all jin ling, made even more welcoming by the faint hint of honey-sweetened tea lingering on sizhui's lips.
and as tempted as he is to poke his tongue out, lick over the line of jin ling's lips, he hesitates for now because this already feels like a lot despite it only being a rather simple liplock. besides, he's somewhat struggling with where to put and keep his hands, something he's hoping isn't too noticeable while they're kissing. these poor boys, their lack of advice will inevitably come back to bite them, but that's the furthest thing from his thoughts. what has lan sizhui pausing and earning jin ling a breathy gasp is when that hand finds his neck, goosebumps prickling his skin once those words come, a little sulky, though not failing to pique his interest.]
So it would seem, [he murmurs, super-duper tempted to tease jin ling further even if his next shift will be more than playful. lowering both hands, they splay on the table between them, holding him steady as he straightens, carefully guides himself onto then effectively over it so he can straddle jin ling's waist instead and hook his arms around his shoulders after he's settled.] How is this? Better, you think? [asked innocently enough with an actual inquiring head-tilt, but alongside his small half-smirk, it isn't looking too sincere.]
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well.
fuck.
jin ling isn't so sure how sizhui is so proper about this. how he's so collected as he says 'so it would seem.' as if they aren't talking about how far he is when they're kissing.
as he he hadn't just climbed over the table.
a part of jin ling that's holding on to reason here cackles and implodes. it's not the part that's in charge, luckily, because that would be the most awful thing and ruin the mood. the mood of lan sizhui in his lap. right there, where jin ling can place his hands on his hips and confirm that he is in fact in his lap.] Yes. [which, okay, thank every immortal and Heavenly being that jin ling's voice does not crack.]
Much better, closer for sure. [closer, really there. jin ling has a sense of entitlement and bravado about a lot of things, and whole this isn't one of them he feels somehow more comfortable with sizhui here and this close.] Now this is better for proper kissing.
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to tell the truth, he's sort of faking it until he makes it here. his heartbeat has been jackhammering nonstop ever since he'd considered doing what he did and now that he has, he is sincerely hoping jin ling can't hear it being as close as they are, even though he's rather certain that isn't a possibility. nevertheless, his attention darts from his boyfriend's eyes to his lips, to his throat, then he glances down between them, licking his lips in an attempt to focus on anything that's not how nice it feels sitting in jin ling's lap right now. (and while being held onto? surely it doesn't get much better—)
except when jin ling confirms that yes, this position is more proper, a fond, warm feeling comes rushing through him, flooding his cheeks with color now too whereas it'd simply been his ears moments ago.] For sure, [he parrots softly, grinning, tilting his gaze back upward until they're eye-to-eye again (which is also different with how easy it is, given he ordinarily has to look up higher). although he'd like to tease jin ling, ask him ‘well, are you gonna kiss me or not?’ he decides on something else.
something he's thinking will be a simple motion at first, then reconsiders from jin ling's point of view, yet it's not enough to make him drop the idea entirely.] Is kissing considered ‘proper?’ [a quiet, contemplative hum and afterward, he tilts, brushes their noses together, lips barely parted and his left hand moving around so he can drift his fingertips over jin ling's throat.] I'm not so sure in this situation...
[is he goading him? mmmaybe just a little.]
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it would be a great way to go, jin ling thinks, but then he won't have experienced all the things in life that he's supposed to.
like what happens after this.
all the dirty books zizhen has shared make it seems like that's worth sticking around for. jin ling tries not to let his mind race ahead to sex with sizhui when all they've done is hold hands and now he has him in his lap. he needs to survive and kiss him a bit more before he gets too wound up.
sizhui is definitely not helping.] What--? [you can't expect him to form a coherent thought like this, sizhui.
he blinks and then his mind seems to catch up with what's happening here, even as he shudders at the touch on his neck. that's sensitive, apparently. who knew?] It doesn't matter if it's proper, if we like it. [he says, narrowing his eyes a bit because who is jin rulan if he's not one to fall for being goaded even by his boyfriend? there's a set of determination in his jaw as he leans in, but the kiss -- for what is is -- is still playful and gentle before it melts into something more.
his hands still are firm as one rests on sizhui's hip, the other slides down his outer thigh to pull him closer yet. ]
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because the soft little huffs he's exhaling sound far more labored and they've only just kissed.
also, let's be honest, there's a whole bunch of other things they can experience once they get past that; selfishly, sizhui would prefer if they both make it past this moment, which is exactly why he's letting himself remain bold and uninhibited (or as much as he can possibly manage, anyhow). quiet, tainted with the scent of honey-sweetened tea, he sighs another breath between them, readying an answer to jin ling's earlier ‘what?’ yet hesitates once he sees recognition flitter across his boyfriend's expression, even as he trembles underneath sizhui's touch on his throat. ah, yes, he will certainly be filing that away for later . . .
he nods faintly,] You're right, it's no one else's business what we do together. [then comes a grin toward jin ling's determined look, lasting for some odd seconds before their lips meet again in another kiss. he hums, warm and satisfied, sliding his hand from jin ling's throat to his nape, fingers cupping to steadily hold him in place while he licks over the other man's mouth.
and when one hand lowers to his thigh, he lets himself be tugged, shifting on his knees, slotting their bodies together so more of his weight rests on jin ling's lap instead. sizhui then hooks his other arm around jin ling's waist, reaches up over his back and cinches his fingers in the fabric of his robes just below his shoulder.]
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it isn't fair, really.
he has no ammunition of his own, no way to retaliate. the reality though, is there is nothing to retaliate against and jin ling is happy to follow the lead if it takes him to another kiss. another touch. he parts his lips, meets sizhui's tongue with his own.
in theory, this should be strange but it's far from it. jin ling doesn't really know what he's doing, if he's good at this but he's not about to stop and ask. not now. not when then he'd die of embarrassment and hurl himself out of the resurrection cycle, thank you very much.
it's a wonder that he can have all of these thoughts, really, as his mind also simultaneously short circuits as sizhui moves wholly into his lap. and that, that heat pooling low in his stomach as their bodies meet is unlike anything he's felt. unlike anything he's fantasized about. it's instinctual to groan into sizhui's mouth, to pull him closer as his hips rock up and-- and then he freezes, realizes that this is a line they haven't crossed yet.
haven't discussed---]
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here, while the two of them are busying themselves with each other, there shouldn't be any reason for jin ling to retaliate against something that doesn't need it; accepting what's happening and going with the flow is completely alright too.
that's what lan sizhui is doing alongside following instinct, which tells him to absolutely not worry about who might stumble across them and focus entirely on jin ling's tongue meeting his own. he snaps his eyes open all of a sudden despite knowing it could seem outright rude to do so, but then wastes no time opening his mouth somewhat further, exhaling a slow, steady breath between them and letting his tongue-tip dart into jin ling's mouth, coaxing him to kiss him even deeper. an action he's thoroughly engrossed with, at least until jin ling groans, tugs sizhui closer and bucks up against him.
initially (instinctively), he gasps at the sensation, followed by a breathless half-moan that peters off once he realizes what's just happened—
then he withdraws, not too far but just enough to put the slightest amount of space, their foreheads mere inches apart, voice barely a whisper,] It— it's okay, we're getting a little worked up. [which is also fine, he's certainly not getting any less hard, after all! but.] I mean, I didn't mind it whatsoever? Just, ah, perhaps... we should talk about how far we are willing to go at the moment.
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it feels like he's attained something impossible, something special and sacred and wholly theirs to share. which, okay, he does not have the lan self control to not roll his hips up again when he gains a reaction even if he'd been the one to freeze up at first.
which-- okay, betrayal by his own body? not fair.
the loss of contact nearly earns a whine but jin ling isn't the whining young mistress anymore, definitely not in this moment. his hands settle on sizhui's outer thighs, tangled in the fabric of the robes that cover his pants. it's a distraction for now, good enough to keep them busy as they breathe each other's air and try to calm down.] Just a little? [and there's that somewhat huffy tone, though it's followed with a laugh and jin ling's lucky his voice is deeper now that he's no longer navigating his early teenager years. the huff does come though, soft but there.] We should talk, yeah. We should--- if we were to do this the proper way, we shouldn't get this worked up. [Or be alone together. Or hold hands at this stage when courting gifts haven't been exchanged.
not that jin ling is moving away or letting sizhui move an inch if he tries.]
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what's outright rude about their current position, however, is that jin ling bucks up against him again afterward, earning a soft yet still higher-pitched gasp of surprise.
seriously now? so much for his attempt at winding them down by pulling back, but let's be real here: sizhui can't get mad or stay bemused for long, given his earlier initiation, what with the whole climbing into jin ling's lap thing . . . deep breath in, hold, let it back out aaand alright, that's at least a little bit better. (because distracting himself by thinking how nice it'd be to push jin ling over and pin him down won't help them chill out any less, either—)
he quietly shushes following the pitiful complaint, both hands moving around, fingers interlocking across jin ling's nape once his boyfriend's hands rest along his thighs; a rather dangerous area, considering his sensitivity, but jin ling thankfully can't feel goosebumps above his clothes and sizhui's not focusing on where those hands are, just silently appreciating how nice the slight weight feels, how jin ling's holding him in place by gripping his flowy robes. his lips purse and he playfully narrows his eyes,] A little, [is emphasized though since sizhui isn't making any motion to remove himself from jin ling's lap, but hasn't let his hands start wandering again just yet. the faintest smile does quirk his lips at the edges toward jin ling's huff before he leads with,] How do you think we should proceed from here? [and then, for some reassurance, he caresses jin ling's neck, working over to where it curves into his shoulder.]
Would you rather we not be alone like this? In case we can't control ourselves... [spoken like it's actually something he's concerned about, and yet he's already struggling with keeping his hands motionless.]
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or rather shouldn't if anyone were properly supervising them. there is a small part of jin ling that remembers who they'll have to face if they're caught but--- his uncle is less scary now that jin ling towers over him and if hanguang-jun tries to kill him what a memory to have as he goes.
the hindbrain chasing 'this feels good with the boy i like' wins out over reason. it might have something to do with the way sizhui is touching his neck, which is something new jin ling learns about himself as the first firm touch earns a gasp and a shudder.
but! he focuses.] Only a little. [wait, wrong focus.] Um. [he shakes his head.] No, I definitely want to be alone like this. [which is a level of openness and vulnerability that used to only be accompanied by word vomit and maybe a few tears, years ago. look at that growth.
his words are honest this time and he's not stopping his hands as they slide up to sizhui's hips, holding him close.] We--- should let them know though. Our uncles and uh.. Hanguang-jun. But after we've spent a little time alone.
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if it's that, at least jingyi can say he never meant for them to get out of hand, alongside allowing his two friends whatever little privacy they can get while he's off collecting snacks.
later on down the line, sizhui's going to thank him a thousand times over, especially considering all these new things he's discovering about his boyfriend right now. the way he gasps and shivers after his neck is touched, how he oh-so-boldly decides they should accept what's given to them in alone time without any misstepping (which sizhui's proud of, by the way! he's doing great—) then those hands are moving over his hips, earning an almost breathless-sounding sigh, his own hand stilling momentarily on jin ling's shoulder.
that hand splays, palm flattened, fingers faintly dragging as he moves it downward and rests it against the other man's chest, just above where his heart beats.] Afterward, we will tell them, [he agrees.] Until that time comes... [then he's trailing off, letting himself shift closer, his head ducking into jin ling's neck where he ghosts his mouth across the pulsepoint.
sizhui's intentions are clear: make jin ling react further by teasing him, but both his hands move too, lowering to rest on jin ling's, encouraging more touching while he experimentally shifts his hips against him again.]
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